LYRICS TO NEUREPUBLIK'S "GOTIK NEUROMANTIK" HIDDEN SANCTUARY (Crowell) begin the day in a cynical haze with a chill of nervous fright i bide my time 'til the sun gives way to security of night i need to go where angels fear to tread a hiding place secluded in my head welcome to my hidden sanctuary a place where mainstream waters never flow welcome to my hidden sanctuary & now the time has come for you to go sanctuary from my life sanctuary from my fear please don't try to follow me it's better now 'cause you're not here welcome to my hidden sanctuary just stay outside don't try to go within welcome to my hidden sanctuary i'll burn in hell before i let you in i need sanctuary don't try to follow me EULOGY (Johnson) . . .and when it rains the wind blows like when it storms out it sometimes snows that breathtaking beauty that only god knows it's coming to me on a cloud of smoke my memories: they all seem to blend like all the bad dreams must come to an end i watch the ocean - it swims without end seems just like the wolf that begs to get in i look in the mirror it stares back at me eyes that are empty are all that I see i sing to the muses that i'm all alone so please tell the ocean that i'm coming home HAPPY... (Crowell) all the world is a stage for me to degredate my self esteem i don't know why you even speak to me with my obvious inability to make you happy... you try to find the best in me but it's less than satisfactory i can't imagine how much it will take for a fool like me to ever make you happy... cut the cord & you moved on it's been a year now since you've gone you found someone with greater self esteem and your life is better than a dream but are you happy... are you happy? GODFETISH (Crowell) wonder deep religious quest to find a god above the rest celestial spirit surge and feign significance inside my brain divine creator in the mirror sudden insight all is clearer in my arrogance i see the breath of god inside of me look inside your heart inside your soul find the god inside of... everyones a god i am god you are god & we are god humanity with vain pretensions cannot leave their own inventions cannot believe a god could be within their physiology afraid of their mortality they fabricate theology is it so hard to have faith in angelic advent from within consider this an advocation of the serpents contemplation food for thought a smorgasboard to free your mind and cut the cord unascertained insightful fact no explanation can be backed what you accept may not be so you could be god but never know WAY OUT (Crowell) you can run & you can hide but you can't find the way out wisdom of sanhedrim, finest intellect increased doubt superficial simulated counterfeit perceptions dwell in the stream of consciousness where babylon coheres with hell in your mind the synapse is too wide to link to inner peace educated far too much cannot resign to one belief inscrutable mortality is mocking you with laughing eyes and though you fight to disbelieve subsistence is but compromise mystery can claim your mind ensnared on hopes of paradise wasting precious years in which the present could be realised resist the distant future in reflection and in dreams a life of conscious ignorance of death may bring you peace a dead child is the longest living creature ever known methusula was far too young to turn to dust and bone THE REAL ME (Crowell) you find it odd i won't divulge what goes on in my mind presume too much about yourself to think i'd be so kind my preference is for secrecy - some doubt my motivation but bring attempts to question me and watch my hesitation you can beg and you can plead and you can cry but you will never know the real me fumble with conjecture - as you profile, the result perpetually is incomplete enigmatic, ego-tripping: call it what you like, you still won't find the real me something special, something sacred, and it's only found inside of me when i was young, i learned to trust - my very first delusion because when you let your guard down, then they fill you with confusion information is control - they'll use all means to get it but i decided long ago i cannot ever let it me is for me i don't think you understand me you analyze, you badger, but you come to no conclusion is it so wrong to want to live my life without confusion? so try to break the walls down: unprotected, insight pure but mark my words it is a knowledge you will not secure LE MAT (Johnson) i watch and i wonder with my head in my hands alone and I'm waiting to finally understand the road that i'm taking i cannot comprehend is all that there is for me things that i cannot have? i'm lost now, and i fear it's clear i cannot stay here my mind is not clever now i'm gone forever constantly searching constantly losing ground the words that i search for are thoughts that can make no sound i watch now, and i fear it's clear i cannot stay here my mind is not clever now i'm lost forever la la. . . I BELIEVE IN NOTHING (Crowell) take the time to listen and acosted you become philosophy is cheap and they are bound to give you some when fools believe they've figured it out, they always spew it out: enlight the world to inner peace and rid your soul of doubt but flaws are there - no different than mythologies of old for metaphysics leave no solid grasp for you to hold no one ever really knows or asks why i believe in nothing the ignorance with which some trust: unfortunate and black not so much that they believe but that they think they can't turn back to open minds and different views of worldly erudition of which they mean to overthrow while on their holy mission when all is said and done, you are the one you have to please believe in nothing but yourself and live your life in peace FIFTEEN (Crowell) the times that i have been with you have been so many & so few i never know just what to do when i'm alone with you take me back to where our dreams have died take me back to where your feeling hide one last time so i can hold your hand one last time to make you understand distant voices on the telephone; your green-eyed stare is all but gone i follow on a path of stone & find myself at home alone enigma singing in my head violent streaks of blonde & red scraping wounds that never bled simple words that once were said UNLIMITED POWER (Crowell) ask a question all the same you & i - a power game kiss & hide - a darkened bar i'll tell you now you won't get far mistress of a one-way soul hungers for a starring role wicked ways soon devour fleeting dreams of absolute power domination games & empty thoughts behind your eyes to think that i believed in all your lies... & when you left me, something changed inside unlimited power to rule my life take my money - take your lies painted face - cheap disguise you think naievity's on my side but you're the one who has to hide actions, words, ways of thought... in the end amount to naught so this is my finest hour now you know who has the power